A Chapter of Proverbs A Day

I am blessed to have such wise people around me. And that includes a lola (grandmother), who isn't really related to me, who imparted on me such great wisdom. Her name is Nanay Phyllis.

Nanay Phyllis already passed away a couple of years ago but her legacy still remains. I knew her since I was a kid because we go to the same church. She's the type of nanay (mom) who would always tag along pastors and church workers to go to mission trips and Bible studies. She also has this operatic voice which she uses to sing hymns at church and even when she's all alone. Although, she might come off too strong to some people, I guess that's just because she's a very strong woman - both inside and out. She's a very thoughtful nanay, too. I remember her for always baking banana bread and sharing it at church. It was not your typical banana bread. It was moist, soft and baked with a nanay's love. But what I remember most about this remarkable woman is her love for God's word. And I think that this is her best legacy.

When it comes to reading God's word, I always tend to plan that I will finish reading the whole Bible in a year...but I never really got to. A lot of things tend to go in the way - work, cooking, movies, Facebook, playing computer games, woke up late, etc, etc, etc. But I must say that these shouldn't really be getting in the way. I just got to have a fixed schedule. I have to prioritize. I must not think of it as a chore but rather an everyday date with my Father. And this is where Nanay Phyllis' great wisdom comes in.

During one of those Bible studies, I remember Nanay Phyllis sharing with us that she would read one chapter of Proverbs a day. She said that it is so easy to track reading Proverbs because it only has 31 chapters. If its January 1, read Proverbs 1. If it's February 24, read Proverbs 24. It was only till last year that I was really able to practice what she imparted with us. And that is when I realized that there is so much wisdom in what she shared.

The book of Proverbs, I think, is the most practical book of the Bible. It teaches us to be wise, how to live right, how to earn money, how to be blessed, how to fight for the just, how to avoid wrong doers and wrong doing, etc. It has so much wisdom that you will never fail to unearth something new every time you read it. It's refreshing and it always gives hope. But get ready to be rebuked, as well. Reading Proverbs has humbled me so many times.

I thank the Lord for Nanay Phyllis. I know that God is truly lifted up and praised with her life. I thank God for the wisdom that she shared with me to read a chapter of Proverbs a day. What she left with me is more than just a tip on how to read God's Word, but it's more of a seed planted in my heart to love and grow in God's word as I live my life everyday.

Confessions of a Female Boss

Someone once told me that having a female boss is much better than a male one. Why? Because women bosses lead with a heart. That person told me that female bosses think beyond what needs to be done while male bosses are focused on the task at hand. I guess that's because a male person's mind is too compartmentalized while women are multi-taskers and have a more caring/nurturing nature.

I appreciate that person's sincerity about his observations on the difference between male and female bosses. Yes, that person is a HE. And what he shared made me appreciate the uniqueness of both male and female bosses. It made me think of each gender's strengths and even weaknesses.

I am now a boss. A female boss. Well, I should say a female leader. It's really tough to be one. You have to be strict but gentle. You have to be tough but caring. You have to be focused but vision-led. But I have to admit that my emotions sometimes just really gets in the way of how I manage. Sometimes, when things do go well, I freak out. And sometimes, I break down and cry. My mom told me that I shouldn't be crying. She told me that bosses don't cry. But I think they do. They cry because they're not understood well. They cry because things are not going well. They cry because the team doesn't work well together. They cry because of the pressure. They cry because they feel frustrated. They cry because it seems to be the only way to make things a little bit lighter.

Emotion is a big part of us. It is what brings people together, enough for us to take care of each other and to look out for each other and to work well as a team. It could go for or against us. And as a leader, I learned that it's important to manage and keep it under control, as well.

Today is one of my most challenging days as a female leader. I went home feeling a bit hurt and disrespected. But I know that this is just the start. It's hard to confront people of the wrong things that they've done cause they always end up too defensive (which makes me think and question why is it so hard for people to admit that they've done something wrong?). And when they get too defensive, you sometimes catch yourself running out of words to explain your point or scared that you might actually be wrong.

sigh.

What a week. Thank God for the strength to endure all of this.

Good News Vs. Bad News (Gossip)

I read 2 Kings 7:3-11 this morning. And what struck me most was this verse:

"We're not doing it right. This is a day of good news and we are keeping it to ourselves..." - 2 Kings 7:9a NIV

The story of 2 Kings 7 tells the story of four Samaritan lepers who found out that the military threat of Arameans to their city was now gone. To make the story short, they realized that a good news such as that should not be kept only to themselves. It should be told to their people.

Good news are meant to be shared with other people. I mean, who doesn't want good news? With all the negative things going on around us, I'm sure every ear is itching to hear something good. But why is it that most of the time, we feast on the bad ones? I'm not just talking about bad news - e.g the tsunami that struck Japan, or the death of someone. I'm also talking about gossip.Why do we feast over it? Why do we want to know every single "juicy" detail? And isn't it odd that people nowadays consider gossip to be news?

Gossip destroys people. It should stop. Most specially in the workplace, most especially among friends. I'm not saying that we should only talk about the good stuff here. But isn't it better to just shut up if we have nothing good to say? Reality bites. What's going on is already bad. Do we need to pour in more bad words to make it look even more bad? How depressing is that? What kind of world do we want to live in?

Can't we just lift each other up? Encourage one another?

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
Proverbs 16: 24 NIV

Fear Vs. Faith

A friend told me two days ago that he might still be greeting me "happy 7th anniversary....8th...9th...10th" at work. I got scared after he said that.

I've been working in the same company for almost 6 years now. It's actually good because it shows how persistent I am in terms of work attitude because nowadays, newly grads hop from one company to the next with a minimum of at least two years stay. But I'm scared now. I feel like I don't want to be stuck anymore. I've been doing the same thing for almost 6 years...although I like it...the writing itself that is.

There are actually two big reasons why I'm still working for my current company. One is that I have a "contract" because they sent me on a conference abroad...and another is the salary. I guess I'm just really afraid that if I resign two things could happen:
1. Contract - I don't know if it's really legally binding. The contract is not even notarized. And it leaves out some points that make me even feel more scared. Like, what what are the consequences if I resign? I don't want to be sued.
2. Salary - I make good money out of this job. It's kind of rare for writers to be paid well. It's actually sad. But I don't want to feel scared just because of money. God is my source. He's the one who gives. Not my company. But I can't help but feel scared.

Today...I didn't go to work. Because I'm not feeling well and another one is that I'm not excited to go to work anymore. I'm not motivated anymore. I feel like a slave. Although people tell me that I'm good at what I'm doing...some things..or even people...at work get me frustrated. Over the past 6 years, same problems would arise. And nothing much have really changed...except for the office address.

I guess I just need a vacation. But will that be enough for me to get back my inspiration and motivation? I know that it is a decision that I have to make everyday - to stay inspired and motivated. But I can't just do it on my own. Other people won't allow me to feel that....sigh

I want to make a decision. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I know that God has something better for me. I know that He's the one who blessed me to have this job. I've done my best. And I think I've fulfilled my purpose already. I just hope that I won't be too afraid to step out in faith.

The Journey To A Healthier Me...starts...NOW!

4:45 AM - Wake up call by mom
5:00 AM - Breakfast
5:30 AM - Shower and get dressed up for work
6:15 AM - Leave house
7:15 to 7:30 AM - Arrive at work
6:00 PM to 7:30PM - leave work
10:00 PM - Arrive house
11:00 PM or 1AM - sleep

That's basically my Monday to Friday schedule. Quite unhealthy, huh?

Since last July, after I came back from the States, I never got to put myself back into workout/healthy/diet mode. Eating all those Pink's hotdogs, seafood, pastas, pizzas, burgers, and other yummy...and somehow unhealthy stuff, made me gain quite a few pounds. I even have difficulty convincing myself to pack my gym clothes so I can workout. I also find myself giving tons of reasons not to go to the gym.

But this thinking has got to stop. I need to get back in track. I'm already 25 years old and I'm not getting any younger. I don't want to be huffing and puffing everytime I climb up stairs or walk. I don't want to feel bad thinking that my clothes are too fit for me to wear. I NEED MY HEALTHY ME BACK.

That's why I will commit myself to become a healthier me. STARTING....NOW!

GAME ON!

A Vacation By Myself

I've always wanted to try out going to unknown places by myself. Set out on an adventure that will somehow contribute to my pondering about the meaning of life...or simply rest...get an adrenaline rush...or escape even for a while. I read this article from Yahoo this morning and it made me think about pursuing a solo vacation even for just a day. Click on the link below to read :-) It's exhilirating!

Home Alone in Manjuyod

Stop Clowning Around

It's Thursday! Yay! And there's no work tomorrow :-) A long weekend indeed and I'm definitely looking forward to it. Anyway, I was supposed to write something here in my blog today but I felt the need to post this very important article written by Mr. Francis Kong. It's about Clowns in the workplace. I have to admit that sometimes I do clown around at work and Mr. Kong's article made me think about what I'm really doing. Anyway, click the link below to read the article :-)

Have a happy and blessed long weekend!

Stop Clowning Around

GREAT

When you ask for great things to come, don't expect that the journey will be easy. And don't ask for it in the first place if you don't want to go through the whole process of achieving it.

just sharing my two cents for the day...

Endangered Value: Excellence in the Workplace

I've always lived my whole life valuing the importance of excellence. Excellence in everything - from as simple as decorating a room, cooking a simple meal for my family, doing schoolwork, participating and serving in church ministry, to working as a professional. I grew up with people who keep on reminding me of this important value and I've made every effort to learn about it, to read about it, and apply it.

Until now, I believe I still have it with me. Although, sometimes laziness creeps in. But, thank God, I'm still being reminded of it. And I'm learning other things like discipline, time management, the importance of learning, and respect to mentors. Well, that's me.

But as an employee, who has worked for more than 5 years now (and counting two more...) in a company that has visibly grown into a big network, I've always wondered about the kind of working attitude people have around me. It seemed that most people that I'm currently working with now only think of:

1. Payday...(well, who doesn't?)
2. Bonus...(given..)
3. Incentives...(yeaahh...)
4. 13th Month Pay...(oh yeah!)

Well, there is really nothing wrong with those four things because as a worker, that is really what we're supposed to get (and probably even more). But I noticed that more and more people in the office...and other places too...are becoming too relaxed. They miss deadlines...and they don't care about it. They use Twitter too much instead of replying or reading important emails. They download movies and other stuff too much, causing the internet connection to slow down, instead of getting real work done. And what's even more horrible is people using the company's resources for their personal raket. Good thing, Facebook is blocked now for many people, including me. And yet people still find other reasons not to deliver the work they need to deliver. Honestly, I'm guilty of some of these things, too. But as a Christian, I'm being reminded that I shouldn't be like that. For one it's a sin. It's stealing resources from the company - internet connection, electricity, and more importantly TIME.

As a supervisor who looks over 4 personnel, I'm quite concerned about instilling the value of excellence. I want my co-workers to learn the value of working and the reward it gives - not just the monetary kind, but also the skills, the discipline and the creativity that comes with it. But how do I do that? No one really taught me how to teach it. I could forever model it. Forever show them how it's done. But how will I make sure that they follow? I guess, it's their choice anyway. But I do hope they learn something from me. From my work ethics and values. I want to be someone who will help them fine tune their skills and learn everthing else that needs to be learned so that even if I'm not their supervisor anymore, they can stand on their own and do great, excellent work.

For the Good

I was so bored at work yesterday. I did have projects to do but thoughts about resigning and getting stuck in a company and not growing crept all over me. It made me stop working. Made me want to just go home. But God is good. He has this weird but amazing way of reminding His children about Purpose and Hope. An officemate of mine forwarded an email discussing some thoughts on Romans 8:28. It was such a great reminder for me. It made me realize again that even if I'm not happy right now, God causes all things to work together for our good.

Anyway, here's the forwarded e-mail message that I got:

Work together for the good

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them" Romans 8:28

Every person goes through disappointments and things that don't seem to make sense and think, "Why did this happen to me?" "Why did my loved one not make it?" "Why did this person treat me wrong?" "Why did I get laid off?" I had a friend recently tell me how he lost his job after many years. He just didn't understand it. He said, I gave that company my best. I was always there on time. I was loyal. It's just not right."We have to understand that even though life is not always fair, God is fair. He promises that He will work all things together for our good. I believe the key word in today's verse is "together." In other words, don't just isolate one part of your life and say, "Well, this is not good." "It's not good that I got laid off." "It's not good that my loved one got sick." "It's not good that my relationship didn't work out." Yes, that's true, but that's just one part of your life. God can see the big picture. That disappointment is not the end. Your life doesn't stop because of one setback. That is simply one piece of your puzzle. There is another piece coming to connect it all because God promises to work all things together for your good. God bless you !

Rethinking My Career

I am now 25 years old. I've been working as a creative writer for a TV Network here in the Philippines for more than five years now and I'm seriously rethinking what career path I should pursue for the future. I wrote previously in my entry Career Vs. Calling that I'm having trouble about my current situation right now as an employed person - considering that I'm not getting any younger and a secured and happy future is all that matters.

For the past few weeks, I've been rekindling some interests that I have somehow laid to rest years before when I started working. I'm drawing again, making arts and crafts, and getting myself involved in the art of makeup. I even went on a spur-of-the-moment makeup shopping last night.  And when I got home, I rushed through dinner and washed up right after so I can experiment on the new eyeshadow, eyeliner and blush that I bought. Inspired much by Michelle Phan (the Youtube makeup guru who really inspired me a lot), I gathered all my creative juice and knowledge about makeup and whipped up a "new" look. And here's the result of my quarter life career crisis: 

I think I need to adjust the lighting of the photos more. My eyeshadow color was supposed to be pink and the yellow light washed it away. I think I need to study photography too. Haha. Anyway, seriously after this makeup adventure, I did thought of venturing into being a makeup artist. My mom even asked me the other night, after seeing me curling my sister's hair using a 2-in-1 hair iron, what kind of career do I really wanted to pursue. And I told her half jokingly that I wanted to be makeup artist/hair dresser and I wanted to put up my own beauty salon. (o.O)

Anyway, I really have no answers yet to my career questions. But I'm going to do more of this makeup stuff and I'm going to draw and paint more. I guess this will be my therapy for the moment. And maybe I can pick up some inspiration from these interests to help me decide what I really want to pursue. Maybe I'm really a makeup artist after all :p.

Career vs. Calling

This morning, I had the privilege of listening to Pastor Neil Varias preaching in our church's anniversary program. He was talking about perfecting holiness and how to live a victorious life. It was really an inspiring message. Besides the fact that Pastor Neil was such an animated speaker, his preaching really got me hooked that I took down notes. Thinking about it, there was this one part where he touched the difference between a career and a calling. This was when he was talking about focusing on the purpose which God intended for us to fulfill. Anyway, he said that the difference between a career and a calling is that a career is something that you do that you get paid for and that a calling is something that you do that money cannot pay for. A calling is something that God can only reward you for doing. He also said that sometimes, God prepares us for our calling by placing us in a specific career.

And then it hit me.

Now that I've been working as a creative writer for the past five years, it suddenly made me think about what I've accomplished. What I've REALLY accomplished. I know that God is the one who gave me this job. He's the one who orchestrated everything for me to be where I am right now. But why is it that I'm not happy? Why is it that all the fulfillment that I get from my said "career" is just superficial? What's missing? And why is it that when I'm in church, I don't mind getting tired? Even if some people in church can get really annoying, why is it that I have more patience for them? My back hurts, my arms get tired, my voice gets hoarse, yet I'm happy. But I'm not getting any younger. I'm 25 years old already and I can't just throw away everything. I need a plan. I need to pray. I need to fast. I need to spend more time with God. I need to stop.

Also, last week, I felt like I was constantly being "bullied" in the office. People keep on demanding things from me. Demanding me to squeeze out everything I can out of my so-called "creative" brain. Well, God has made me creative. It's that specific talent that He gave me and that I'm happy and ever grateful for. But when demands like these come my way, I feel like a kid being asked by a bully for lunch money. Argh! I want all of these to stop! If only I have the luxury to quit my job.

Sigh. I just really pray that God will help me through this. Maybe this is what they call quarter life crisis. But maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I just need a change. Maybe I just to spend more time with God.

FINALLY!

For the past few weeks, I've been thinking about coming up with a new blog that I can really maintain. I thought of different topics to focus on like beauty (yes, you read it right. I have this love affair with makeup and skin products), travel, food, and even my daily devotions. But something in my heart tells me that I need to write about my experience as a professional copywriter, as a young person who treads across the dangerous waters of office politics and gossip. I guess, that have to be it. This would be very therapeutic for me and this can help me reflect on my career and where I'm really going.

So, if anyone out there is actually reading my blog, stay tuned! :-)

Supervisor daw?

I never really got a hang of people calling me a supervisor. I've had this position since almost two years ago but I still consider myself too inexperienced for the job. I work well when I'm alone, or at least with two or three people. But big groups scare me. And it tires me. I have this ugly tendency to do everything that needs to be done because I trust myself more to do it well. It's not that I don't trust others. I just fear that it won't be finished on time. I guess that's the risk supervisors have to take when they assign tasks to their people.

And that is exactly the point of being a supervisor - of me being one. Being able to delegate tasks well and making sure that people get it done well and on time. And that also includes making sure that the people's morale about themselves, their work, and their relation to the team is kept high. Man! That is hard!

I just pray that God will help me do this job. I want to contribute to my writers' creativity in a positive way. I want to influence them in a good way.

The Aloof Muse

Writing can be such a chore. I like the whole process, though. It's excruciating yet relieving at the same time. It's like trying to clean up and organize my overly messy room on a hot Saturday. It's difficult yet at the end of it, you'll get to smile and be proud of what you've done. These past few months have been very difficult for me in terms of writing. I have some writing commitments that I need to do but most of the time...actually all of the time...I fail to submit it on time. I have tons of ideas in my mind but I can't seem to start writing them down flawlessly on a piece of paper or on my laptop.

It's frustrating! But I think it's also challenging.

When I was in gradeschool, I love writing poems. Poems mostly about love. Every afternoon, after doing my homework, I would hang out in our veranda to write. Watching younger kids play outside and some of my friends wave hi, I would write whatever it is that my heart wants to pour out on paper. I filled a couple of notebooks then but when I got to high school, I stopped. I got too busy reading books, some required some just out of plain curiousity. I got interested in writing my own novel, inspired by Sweet Valley Junior High. I think I wrote three chapters but school work got into my schedule and I never got to finish it. I even remember the lead character's name...Karen.

Then college came. Reflection papers, essays, book reviews, reports, thesis, research papers. All those academic writing got into me. And for some reason, fear crept into my creativity and love for words. I felt like I was writing poorly. I felt that none of what I wrote meant anything to the world. I started signing up for online diaries and blogs but can't seem to maintain any. I was too sad. I was too scared that no one would appreciate what I wrote. And that was the time that I told myself that I was never going to be a writer. I've been hearing classmates who got discouraged, too. One classmate of mine told me that his uncle said that there's no money in journalism or writing. That it can't feed you. That got into my head, too. I feared writing to the point that I detested it. But fate seems to be playing a trick on me. At present I'm a writer, by profession.

But a writer of what? Thirty-seconder on-air scripts? Print ad copies? Sales kits? Is this what being a writer is all about? Sigh.

I just wish that my muse would come back to me and smile at me again. And I hope she comes back as soon as possible. 

Delirious? Farewell Tour (Manila) on March 17!

I first came across the band Delirious? when they teamed up with Hillsong Australia in a concert. I never really knew that they were the names behind the songs "I could sing of Your love forever" and "Did you feel the mountains tremble?". Their lyrics are just so amazing that it encourages people to burst into song, into worship to God. Anyway, the band will have their stopover here in Manila on March 17 for their Farewell Tour Concert. Sad, but true. The group is breaking up, not for selfish reasons, but for the good.

Here are some details of their concert. I'll be saving up for this one! Don't want to miss this.

On Pouting Girls with the Peace Sign

I was checking my Facebook account just a few minutes ago and I came across some new uploaded pictures. Some taken from parties, dinner, gatherings, travel trips, and others just random shots. It bothered me a bit...actually a lot...that most girls would pout their lips and do the peace sign when their pictures are taken. I almost gagged looking at them!

I have nothing against those "poses" and "statements of identity" but why always pout? It somehow gives me an impression that these girls want to look "sexy". For what? Or for who? And then when guys oggle and take advantage...they scream and throw tantrums. Well, so much for your pout!

I'm not being so negative here. It's just that when and why did the "pout" replace the "smile"? Maybe the next generation of cameras would have a "pout detector" along side the "smile detector". Sheesh!

Lifehouse - Everything

I first heard of this song last year when I attended the summer youth camp. I was simply blown away. The lyrics are so powerful and amazing. And the way Jason Wade sung it...that's what you call conviction. Jordan of NU (Against the Flow) was right when he said that this song is not meant to be sung for a human being.

EVERYTHING

Lifehouse

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?