Confessions of a Female Boss

Someone once told me that having a female boss is much better than a male one. Why? Because women bosses lead with a heart. That person told me that female bosses think beyond what needs to be done while male bosses are focused on the task at hand. I guess that's because a male person's mind is too compartmentalized while women are multi-taskers and have a more caring/nurturing nature.

I appreciate that person's sincerity about his observations on the difference between male and female bosses. Yes, that person is a HE. And what he shared made me appreciate the uniqueness of both male and female bosses. It made me think of each gender's strengths and even weaknesses.

I am now a boss. A female boss. Well, I should say a female leader. It's really tough to be one. You have to be strict but gentle. You have to be tough but caring. You have to be focused but vision-led. But I have to admit that my emotions sometimes just really gets in the way of how I manage. Sometimes, when things do go well, I freak out. And sometimes, I break down and cry. My mom told me that I shouldn't be crying. She told me that bosses don't cry. But I think they do. They cry because they're not understood well. They cry because things are not going well. They cry because the team doesn't work well together. They cry because of the pressure. They cry because they feel frustrated. They cry because it seems to be the only way to make things a little bit lighter.

Emotion is a big part of us. It is what brings people together, enough for us to take care of each other and to look out for each other and to work well as a team. It could go for or against us. And as a leader, I learned that it's important to manage and keep it under control, as well.

Today is one of my most challenging days as a female leader. I went home feeling a bit hurt and disrespected. But I know that this is just the start. It's hard to confront people of the wrong things that they've done cause they always end up too defensive (which makes me think and question why is it so hard for people to admit that they've done something wrong?). And when they get too defensive, you sometimes catch yourself running out of words to explain your point or scared that you might actually be wrong.

sigh.

What a week. Thank God for the strength to endure all of this.