Fear Vs. Faith

A friend told me two days ago that he might still be greeting me "happy 7th anniversary....8th...9th...10th" at work. I got scared after he said that.

I've been working in the same company for almost 6 years now. It's actually good because it shows how persistent I am in terms of work attitude because nowadays, newly grads hop from one company to the next with a minimum of at least two years stay. But I'm scared now. I feel like I don't want to be stuck anymore. I've been doing the same thing for almost 6 years...although I like it...the writing itself that is.

There are actually two big reasons why I'm still working for my current company. One is that I have a "contract" because they sent me on a conference abroad...and another is the salary. I guess I'm just really afraid that if I resign two things could happen:
1. Contract - I don't know if it's really legally binding. The contract is not even notarized. And it leaves out some points that make me even feel more scared. Like, what what are the consequences if I resign? I don't want to be sued.
2. Salary - I make good money out of this job. It's kind of rare for writers to be paid well. It's actually sad. But I don't want to feel scared just because of money. God is my source. He's the one who gives. Not my company. But I can't help but feel scared.

Today...I didn't go to work. Because I'm not feeling well and another one is that I'm not excited to go to work anymore. I'm not motivated anymore. I feel like a slave. Although people tell me that I'm good at what I'm doing...some things..or even people...at work get me frustrated. Over the past 6 years, same problems would arise. And nothing much have really changed...except for the office address.

I guess I just need a vacation. But will that be enough for me to get back my inspiration and motivation? I know that it is a decision that I have to make everyday - to stay inspired and motivated. But I can't just do it on my own. Other people won't allow me to feel that....sigh

I want to make a decision. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I know that God has something better for me. I know that He's the one who blessed me to have this job. I've done my best. And I think I've fulfilled my purpose already. I just hope that I won't be too afraid to step out in faith.